So it’s after much consideration and thought, careful pondering and intense coin flipping (bet 11 out of 20 round-robin double-elimination) that I have decided to make the switch, again, back to where I first began.

http://www.realityunwound.com

The primary reasons are: 1) I paid for it, it doesn’t make any sense not to use it, and 2) There are some things that I wanted to be able to do that I just can’t do here, that I can do over there.

So if you’ve just moved here from over there… I’m not being a very nice blog friend. All I can do is humbly ask that you please switch back over there.

Thank you all for the experiment in transitions. You’re better people than I deserve. When you get over there… make sure to drop me a line and let me know you’ve made it. You can browse some of the older content if you like, but know that what’s to come won’t necessarily reflect what has gone before.

So please (I’m begging now) stop by realityunwound.com, and add me to your reader. Until then, and forever more…

May The LORD bless you
and keep you;
May the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
May the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

Stevie Ray, R.I.P.

Me and The Architect

And then he started talking… from the moment he started, it became clear that he was a rare intellect, but a genuinely unique individual. He’s a brilliant story teller, a passionate patriot, and generally a good guy. He talked in depth about being with President Bush aboard Air Force One on 9/11 and how the severity and reality of the situation began to dawn on everyone aboard. As AFO landed in Washington D.C. and the President and his closest advisors were sped away to the White House in Marine One (the President’s helicopter), Rove was next to the President when the smoldering shell of the Pentagon came into view for the first time. Rove said you could feel the tension in the helicopter, the Secret Service and Marine Helicopter Pilots, dutiful as always, but understandably shaken. Bush pointed across Rove toward the Pentagon with the words, “Look over there. That’s the face of war in the 21st century.”

Karl Rove is portrayed in the media as either a savant or Darth Vader (depending on which network you’re watching). I’m not entirely sure that he’s either. I think he’s a brilliant guy, with a passion for the process, and a heart that loves the United States. All in all, a great evening.

I’m working to find a blog theme that will allow me to post a picture of what I’m reading at the moment. For now (until I can figure it out) there’s a link to my library… somewhere.

So, if you are ever heading over to Amazon.com to buy books, please stop by here and they’ll make it worth my while.

In return, any person who can demonstrate that they purchased a book at amazon by clicking through my site, also purchases the right to
a) A guest appearance on realityunwound, saying or doing anything and everything you want. No rules… just right.
b) I will dedicate a post to writing whatever, when ever, where ever, or however you want me to. Your ideas, my fingers. Done.
c) Each purchase gives you the right to determine an upcoming Sunday Song.

I know it’s not the Nobel Peace Prize or anything, but if you’re buying a book anyway, geez, throw me a freaking bone! You have to click on my link though. That’s the catch. So… do it. Until I get the theme thing figured out. But you can still click it afterward… If you want.

Today is day 14* of my 61 day experiment away from Facebook. Chapter 9 in Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice by Dallas Willard addresses the issue of belief… Do you believe that it is actually possible to be spiritually transformed? He poses the questions that flesh out the implications of that: do you believe it is possible for you to willinigly and tirelessly work for a person that annoys you, and do it without hope of acknowledgement, recognition, or gratitude simply because it is an opportunity to demonstrate Christs’ love for them? Do you believe it is possible for you to demonstrate patience and kindness for those who openly mock and criticize you because my heart has forgiven them already?

Of course my first answer, my answer conditioned by exposure to the kind of answers that I’m supposed to give… is, “Of course I believe!” and then my shadow whispers, almost inaudibly, “I’m not so sure.”

Which brings me back to belief. What IS belief? Is it simply mental assent to some certain set of facts or conditions? I don’t think so. The example I always give is this: if I told you I believed the world was going to end tomorrow, and I set my alarm when I went to bed, you would have good reason to be skeptical of my belief.

This all comes to play on the topic of my spiritual formation because if I truly believe that God is the creator and provider that the scripture teaches… then you will know it by observing the way I respond when someone has a financial need that I am able to meet… do I meet it or not? If I believe that I am secure in my position and relationship with Christ, then you will know it by observing the way I respond to the people who attack me… do I turn the other cheek or strike back in fear and anger?

Which makes the question of what I believe about the possibility of transformation difficult. My head rocks up and down in a physical gesture of “YES” to the basic question of discipleship, but the life story I have written may indicate that I have more questions than I let on.

Today I decided that I was going to be OK wrestling with the question of whether or not I really believe that God can change me. If I’m not honest about that question, then I’ll never get an honest answer.

As I wrestle with that question today, I have this to underlie it all… I know that my only hope for real and lasting change is God. I know that I have tried and tried, a thousand ways a million times and an infinite string of disappointments. If God cannot change me, then I am firmly convinced that I am stuck and will remain largely unchanged. I believe I must work out my salvation, but I believe that the direction and authority and power come from outside of me. My obedience is not the creation or the effecting of my change. My obedience is the very stuff of change.

What would change look like for you? Do you believe that kind of change is possible?

*I’m pretty sure that 61 days will stretch out to more than that. I chose the number 61 because the book that is my curriculum is 61 chapters (days), and I’m 5 days behind. Stay tuned!

Sunday is music day here on Realityunwound. You’ll never know what’s going to show up, so stay tuned, visit often, and tell a friend.

Neither Cantankerous nor Grouchy are Fruits of the Spirit. Nor are they characteristics of agape love found in 1 Corinthians 13.

I was really caught off guard by that, but I’ve checked several different translations and none of the following words are included in the greek: grouchy, cantankerous, grumpy, bitter, ferocious, mean-spirited, spiteful. I checked. Several times. I stretched the limits of hermeneutics like saltwater taffy on the steamy black dashboard of a car, but still it didn’t work. They’re just not there.

Needless to say, waking up to spend some time focusing on God and trying to let Him speak into my life isn’t nearly as effective when all I can think to say to Him is, “This better be good or I’m leaving.”

So last night, when small group was over, I crawled right into bed with a book and very quickly started to nod. Not wanting to miss this golden window of slumber, I put the book on my night stand, clicked off the lamp and then…

I woke up this morning… 30 minutes later than usual… feeling WONDERFUL!! It was at that moment that I became convinced that sleeping is often the most spiritual thing I can do. When I am tired, I don’t focus, I am not attentive to what’s going on around me, and I am simply not as I should be.

It’s certainly possible, probably even probable, that there is some chemical reason for my insomnia. It is also possible, probably even probable, that there are environmental factors for my insomnia. There are things that I know I should do (or shouldn’t do) but often don’t (or do) anyway. For that reason, I believe that I’m going to spend a season focusing on my sleep as an exercise in spiritual formation.

Here’s what I’m thinking…

1. Replace TV with a good book one hour before bed. In a perfect world, I would close my eyes for the night at 10:00. For many reasons, TV interferes with sleep cycles, so absolutely no TV or computers after 9:00 sharp. This should be significantly easier considering that Facebook isn’t an option for me at this point in time.

2. Replace Caffeine with water teas after lunch. Caffeine creates cycles of insomnia for me. The more I drink, the harder it is to sleep, the more tired I feel, the more I drink… In those brief windows of my past where I feel like I’ve been in my sweet spot, I have one cup of coffee in the morning and don’t need anything more. Rather than artificially keeping myself jacked up during the day, I’m going to let myself be tired as an encouragement to go to bed at night. Which leads me to the final thing…

3. Replace sleeping late with sleeping early. This may sound counterintuitive, but not all hours of sleep are equally restful. REM sleep happens best between 11 and 7 am, so going to bed at midnight and sleeping until 10 isn’t the same as going to bed at 8 and waking up at 6. If I’m going to get an extra hour of sleep, I’m going to get it earlier.

In all of these things, I’m paying attention to when my body screams out… “but I love this show…” or “just a can of coke instead of a 32 ounce fountain drink…” or “I just need to finish this chapter…” I firmly believe that saying “no” to feelings that differ from what I KNOW to be best is at its core a spiritual discipline.

So here’s to being well rested, and spiritually strong!!
Exit question: what other every day activities are potentially laden with spiritual growth potential?

Thick Nawlins Funk.

In catching up on my comments this morning (all one of them), I linked to a video of Bill Evans playing Autumn Leaves. When Jack heard the first hint of Evans’ ivories, he all but pushed his little sister off my lap to her demise, so he could peer intently at each muscle twitch behind each musical moment. Tapping his fingers, “air-piano” style, I just watched his smile build and grow; the kind of smile enflamed by sheer soul-joy. When the tune wound down, the ferocity of his head snap and clear intent in his gaze conveyed the clear urgency of the moment we were in, “Dad. Let’s go play music together.”

My sweet little man. The same innocence that causes his little heart to be moved by music, keeps him from being able to rationalize how two things he loves (daddy and music) could be completely mutually exclusive.

Jack, along with the drummer in his head, have since retired to his room to make music together, while Reagan stands rapt before the glowing tube listening in as Dora patiently teaches Benny the Bull that only the top plank is wide enough to build the walls of his house.

The sweet silence in my Saturday morning is sweeter still because it’s not the silence of decibles or solitude, but of gratitude and contentment.

How was your Saturday?

Our lives are a result of what we have become in the depths of our being – what we call our spirit, will, or heart. From there we make choices, break forth into action, and try to change our world That is why the greatest need of collective humanity is the renovation of our heart.

Accordingly, the revolution of Jesus involves the objective of eventually bringing all of human life under the direction of his wisdom, goodness, and power as part of God’s eternal plan for the universe. The revolution of Jesus is one of character, which proceeds by changing people from the inside through an ongoing personal relationship to God in Christ and to one another. It changes their ideas, beliefs, feelings, habits of choice, bodily tendencies, and social relations. From these persons, social structures will naturally be transformed so that “justice roll[s] down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream” (Amos 5:24 NRSV). Such streams cannot flow through corrupted souls.

Spiritual formation for the Christian refers to the Spirit-driven process of forming the inner world of the human self so that it becomes like the inner being of Christ Himself. To the degree in which spiritual formation in Christ is successful, the outer life of the individual becomes a natural outflow of the character and teachings of Jesus. Christian spiritual formation is focused entirely on Jesus. Its goal is conformity to Christ that arises out of an inner transformation accomplished through purposeful interaction with the grace of God in Christ. Obedience is an essential outcome of Christian spiritual formation (see John 13:34-35; 14:21).

If Christ’s people genuinely enter Christ’s way of the heart, they will find a sure path toward becoming the persons they were meant to be: thoroughly good and godly persons yet purged of arrogance, insensitivity, and self-sufficiency. Christian assemblies will become what they have been in many periods of the past and what the world desperately calls for today: incomparable schools of life – life that is eternal in quality now, as well as unending in quantity.
-Dalllas Willard. Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice. 15-16 emphasis mine.

What I don’t typically do is transcribe an entire section of a book, but this particular entry hit me like a hammer in the cerebellum this morning, mostly because it totally reframes the way I approach passages like Matthew 10. Jesus didn’t send His best friends out with nothing, simply for the sake of a nebulous force or mental state called “faith.” They were sent with nothing to fall back on, because that’s the only way they would ever really know that they were never really falling in the first place. God had already made provision. If they got that, they would never have any reason to worry about falling ever again.

When I experience that God always makes provision, I learn to trust him… first with my physical needs – food, money, clothing, shelter – and then with my emotional needs – love, acceptance, encouragement, comfort. Finally I come to realize that I see and interact differently with the world, simply because I’ve come to truly know Jesus. My heart is renovated entirely, not by facts and precepts, but by love that begins in Him and is manifest through others.

In that light, Louis Armstrong was right.

Exit Question: What kind of heart would you like to have? Dream big. What role do our relationships with each other play in our relationships with Christ? How will what you do today make that dream a reality? Leave your thoughts.
** crossposted at my small group blog, The Barnabas Project.**